Dear friends and family of Sir Hubert the Stuffed Doggie,
We regret to inform you that the Honorable Sir Hubert has met his demise in an unfortunate case of disembowelment. Authorities are investigating to see if any of his due process rights were violated in the events leading up to his death. Please specify where you would like his remains to be sent as they are identified and gathered.
Becca and Carissa
P.S. We think the cat may have found his tail under the refrigerator.